The Escapade to the Haunted Mansion
by emeraldterror
Summary: Roxas is having a bad Halloween. First, his brother stole his costume. Second, he has to wear a Tinkerbell costume. And last, he is forced to investigate the haunted mansion in the forest instead of trick-or-treating. Shall I say CRACK? ONE-SHOT!


_Diiiiiiiiiing… Doooooooooong… _

Roxas's eyes snapped up from the pointless comedy sitcom he was watching on the television sitting on the coffee table in the family room to glare at the front door, where the annoying doorbell just so happened to be located. All was silent for a few seconds before the doorbell rang again:

_Diiiiing… Dooooong! _"Mom! I think it's a trick-or-treat-er," Roxas hollered, hoping his mother, who was probably eating candy in the kitchen with his father, heard.

His mother, Naminè, stepped into the doorway of the family room and rolled her eyes, "Roxas, you're twelve years old! Open it yourself and give them candy!" She retreated back into the kitchen and blissfully unwrapped another candy bar.

_DING DONG! DING DONG! _"I can hear you! _Stop ignoring us!" _A familiar voice screamed from the other side of the door.

"Go away!" Roxas cried, crossing his arms over his chest.

The front door flew open and in stepped a red headed boy accompanied by an older man with the same color of hair. "Oh! No need to open the door or anything," Axel dramatically placed a hand onto his chest, which was covered in a peculiar pink fabric; "I'll just let myself in since nobody around here bothers to open the door when they are expecting company. Shame on you Roxas, that's how burglars get in. They expect you to expect whoever you are expecting to just expectantly waltz on expectantly in!"

Roxas rolled his eyes at the overuse of the word 'expect' but then abruptly stopped and stared at his best friend in horror, "What… are you wearing?!"

Axel grinned and lifted a hand to flick the wings strapped to his back, "I'm a fairy!" He sauntered over to Roxas, who was sitting in a beanbag chair on the floor in front of the television with his jaw hanging open. Axel purposely swayed his hips so the frilly pink tutu he was wearing would bounce with each step. He kneeled in front of the blonde and grinned his widest before using his wand to coax Roxas's mouth to a close.

"Like what you see? I call it my 'Pedo Attracter Costume'!"

Reno, who was standing behind the couch decided to leave them be and loiter in the kitchen with the Strife parents. He walked through the doorway and slung his arm over the father of Roxas, "Cloud, haven't talked to _you _in a while!"

Cloud shrugged off the arm and moved across the kitchen to the pretzel bowl located by the sink, "I hope all the other parents show up soon. This won't be a party unless we have guests… and beer." Reno grinned broadly as Cloud mumbled the last couple of words.

"I'm sure having Kadaj, Loz, Yazoo and Sephiroth over would be a party of its own!" Reno pulled a can of Coors out of the aluminum fridge.

"I feel so sorry for that poor child, Riku, for having three of the most immature uncles, an asshole of a father, and Paine as a mother." Naminè bit off the end of a Red Vine.

"I heard Sephiroth's a pretty cool guy when he gets drunk, so I supposed we know what our goal for Halloween is, right?" Reno grinned but fell silent as he began listening in on his son's conversation. "I swear… I'll never understand that boy."

"W-What?!"

"I brought you one too!" Axel opened the gym bag¾which Roxas had just noticed¾that was hanging at his side and pulled out a green dress with pixie wings. "You're going to be Tinkerbell!"

Roxas stared at the dress in disgust and pushed it away from him. "I'm not wearing that! It's stupid and it'll make me look like a girl!"

Axel frowned and crossed his arms, turning his nose into the air. "Fine then! But when we visit a pedophile's house and I get more candy then you, you'll know why!"

Roxas rolled his eyes and pushed his friend away¾who was sitting uncomfortably close to him¾and stood. "I already have a costume, and if I were to be seen in that, then I would become the middle school's laughing stock!" He spun on his heels and began walking to the staircase located next to the hallway and began walking up them. Axel, who was almost as faithful as a Golden Retriever, bounded after him and up to his room.

Shutting the door behind both of them, Axel seated himself on Roxas's bed and crossed one leg over the other. "Who's going to be trick-or-treating with us," Axel asked, tapping his chin as he stared at Roxas. The blonde moved aside hangers in his closet, most likely searching for his costume.

"Sora, Riku, Kairi, Hayner, Pence, Olette, Ven, Aqua, Terra and Xion," Roxas grunted as he frantically began searching through his closet.

Axel stifled a giggle when Roxas let out a scream of rage. "People might think we're a gang if so many people are in a group, _even if _we're all in middle school, y'know, other than your brother and his friends." Axel scratched the back of his spiked mane while Roxas threw around clothes from his hamper. "Why are your brother and his friends going anyway? Isn't he too old for this kind of crap?"

"Ven?" Roxas poked his head through the pile of clothes he was searching under, "He's our… _chaperone_, so to say."

The door opened at that moment and in walked an exact clone of Roxas, who was scowling at the both of them. "Hey loser… and… fairy," Ven stared at Axel for a few moments while the red head decided to glare at him, he shook his head and turned his attention back to his younger brother. "Anyway, I'm just here to say that one, I borrowed your costume, Roxas, and two, we're going to a haunted house tonight."

Roxas immediately stood, causing the clothes he was looking through to slide off his back and fall to the floor. He growled and stalked to Ven, fisting his hand in his older brother's collar. "You stole my Pikachu costume?!"

Ven nonchalantly pried the hand from his shirt and pushed the much shorter Strife away. "It's needed for Aqua's, Terra's and mine's Pokèmon trio. Stop glaring at me like that! I know you're jealous!" He shoved his brother by the shoulders, sending him tumbling back into his dirty pile of clothes. "I'm sure you'll have fun being Tinkerbell." With that said his brother broke into a mocking laugh and slowly shuffled out of the room, not caring at all that there were two pairs of glaring eyes boring into his back.

Axel's glare softened and he couldn't help but begin spluttering, obviously failing to contain his laughter. Roxas turned and shot another glare, one of his many, at his best friend. Axel stared at his friend, tried to cover his mouth to stifle his laugh, but couldn't. Axel doubled over into laughter, collapsing onto Roxas' bed and holding his sides. "Y…You were going to wear a Pikachu costume?!" Axel snorted, continuing to laugh even when Roxas left the room.

Roxas stubbornly stomped down the stairs and, before turning to the kitchen door, came face-to-face with his cousin. Roxas stared and glanced down at the costume he was wearing, "Oh dear lord."

"Hi, Roxas!" Sora shouted, jumping forward to tackle-hug his cousin. Roxas, who was momentarily stunned, collapsed into the stairs, thanking whoever built his house that they had carpet on them.

"What. Are. You. Wearing," Roxas deadpanned, trying to shove off the hyper brunette.

"You like? I'm a fairy!" Sora stood and twirled three hundred and sixty degrees, his blue tutu frilling around his tiny waist before jutting out once more. "Olette's Sarah Palin for some reason and Terra's dressed as Charmander, but that doesn't matter!"

Roxas gaped and jumped to his feet as he heard laughing from the top of the stairs. He turned his head and glared at the red head clad in pink. "Don't you dare, Axel."

"I think this just made my year. I swear to god, if Riku shows up as a fairy too, I think I might DIE." Axel wiped away a tear, "Roxas, can't you smell the thick aroma of irony?"

"Please. Shut up," Roxas pleaded as Sora tilted his head in confusion.

Axel ignored his friend and slung an arm over his shoulder. "C'mon, Tinkerbell. Let's get you dressed up!"

Sora's face lit up in glee, "Oh, Roxas! You're a fairy too?!"

Roxas tried to run away, but two pairs of hands restrained him from escaping to the safety of the kitchen, where he suspected all the adults to be. He struggled from the both of them, but Axel climbed onto him, straddling his hips and pinning his arms to his sides.

"Quick! Sora! Grab the duffel bag sitting in front of the TV! It has the Tinkerbell costume in it!"

"Mom! Dad! Help! Uncle Zack! Aunt Aerith! Mmf!" Axel's left hand flew over Roxas' mouth, muffling whatever other plea he had to scream.

"Is everything alright out there?" Naminè's soft voice carried into the family room, not the least bit concerned, for she knew of the boys' usual antics.

Axel grinned as Sora pranced over with the lime green cocktail dress and spoke up, "No, everything's alright! Roxas is just being stubborn! He won't put on¾errgh¾his… costume! Frick! He bit me! Sora! Get a rope!"

Naminè sighed and turned to her husband, "I knew Roxas wouldn't be happy if Ven used his costume. I _told _you so!"

Reno grinned and stuck a thumb into the air, "Do not worry, my son won't hurt your son."

Aerith sighed and placed a hand on her forehead and pinched the bridge of her nose. "I think this is all too much, my oldest son as a Pokèmon, my younger son dressed as a fairy… And my daughter," her eyes trailed to Olette, who was polishing her borrowed glasses on her dress shirt, "is trying to make a political statement. What happened to vampires and witches?"

Olette sighed and stared at her mother from the other side of the kitchen. "Mother, Twilight and Harry Potter happened."

"Quick pull the dress over his head before any of our folks come out!" Sora cried, fruitlessly shielding the half naked Roxas from the door to the kitchen.

Axel grinned and happily slid the lime green dress over the restrained Roxas, thanking the Disney Company for making it strapless. Roxas once again struggled, but did not overpower the ropes binding his legs to a stool. Axel skipped behind him and zipped the dress up, making a few last adjustments before walking back around to the front of him.

"See," he pinched the seething blonde's cheek. "You look lovely, just like her… except, y'know, the lack of stuffing in the chest and hip area."

Roxas glared at him and threw his arm forward to try and hit him, but Axel moved away in time. Roxas turned to Sora, who was blissfully reading a magazine on his couch and barked, "Untie me so I can _kill_ Axel!" Sora immediately jumped to his feet and skittered to his fuming cousin, quickly and fearfully untying the rope that bound his legs to the stool and jumped back as the blonde launched himself off his perch.

Roxas tackled Axel to the floor, placed both hands, not _too _tightly, around his neck and began strangling the poor boy. He repeatedly lifted and slammed the older of the two's head against the tile floor, releasing all his anger with each blow.

"I'm going to… murder you…, burn your body…, burn the ashes…, compress the ashes… into coal… and use them… to grill… my steak!" Roxas grunted after each blow, slightly tightening his grip on the red head's neck. "And if… you come back… to _haunt_ me…, I'll go… Ghostbusters…. on your ass… and send you to… the fifth dimension with my… super vacuum cleaner!"

Axel grunted and struggled under the seemingly weak blonde, but found his efforts fruitless. "Dad!" Roxas clamped a hand over his mouth; now only using one hand to strangle his best friend. Axel took advantage of this and shoved the blonde off his stomach, sprinting the short way to the double-hinged door of the kitchen and softly placed a hand on it, but was once again tackled to the ground by the seething Roxas. The door flew open as his face made contact with it, and he shrieked with all his might as he clawed at the tile, trying to grab onto any devious crack or mound to prevent being pulled back into the family room. "For the love of god, help! Roxas is trying to KILL me!" All the adults in the kitchen stared at the boy with uncertainty as he was slowly dragged through the door, disappearing behind the wood.

Naminè uncertainly extended her hand towards the door, but drew it back as she heard silence. But the peace was short lived as a scream pierced through their ears.

"Roxas! Get off! Get off! _Get off! _There's a _spider!!_" All the adults recovered from their simultaneous group wince and stared at the door as all grew silent again.

"No! Sora put it down!"

More silence. Reno grinned at his son's obvious arachnophobia.

"MOTHER FU--!!" Axel let out a girlish scream and ran through the door of the kitchen, his hands continuously blurring over his red porcupine-like hair. The spider was obviously not there anymore, but it was as though he was trying to make one hundred percent sure there was no miniscule and harmless arachnid nesting in his hair. He ran to his stunned father and threw his arms around him before burying his face in the man's stomach. His shoulders convulsed in a way that showed his fear, but he remained silent. His father awkwardly patted the top of his uncontrollable spikes to calm him down.

Axel pulled away and, with tears glistening in his eyes and cried, "Daddy! Roxas is mean to me! He… He put that spider in my hair! It was freaking huge! It was bigger than my thumb! I-I think I might be traumatized for life!"

At that moment, the smug Roxas, clad in a lime green cocktail dress with transparent fabric wings strapped to his back, waltzed into the kitchen with Sora and a silver haired boy at his side. "Riku's here. And _he's," _Roxas pointed to the boy in question, "something normal! He's Joe Biden!"

"Oh dear lord!" Aerith cried, staring at Riku in horror. "Not you too!" Olette, who was still seated behind the bar of the kitchen stood with sudden interest and smiled gleefully.

"Here we are!" A voice announced followed by four, very tall silverettes followed by a similar haired woman walking as far away as possible. The one in front, who had the longest hair, was glaring around the room while he walked to the wraparound bar of the kitchen, pulled the stool out, and sat himself in it. The silverette who stood to his right with shoulder length hair--and had announced their arrival--smiled and waved a hello before seating himself as well. The other two, who were both quiet, sat themselves as well. Paine decidedly sat at the kitchen table across from Olette, who was now staring at Riku.

Cloud opened the stainless steel fridge he was leaning against and pulled out a can of beer. "Beer, Sephiroth?" The man grunted a yes, so Mr. Strife set the cold Coors down in front of him. "Kadaj? Yazoo? Loz?" The three nodded and soon were occupied with sipping at the freezing aluminum. "Paine?"

The woman scowled and shook her head. _"I don't drink." _

"Okay… Um… Children," Cloud turned to the five kids standing in front of him, "go up to Roxas's room and play Scrabble or something until the rest of your group arrives."

"But I don't think we have Scrabble…" Cloud took his youngest son by his shoulders and began pushing him out the kitchen door. Roxas sighed, glanced around the group if children his age, and stared at the stairs. He shook his head and walked forward, motioned for the group to follow, and ran up the stairs to the game closet. The children all decidedly left him and Axel to retrieve the game, seeing as procuring it from the seemingly ten-foot-tall closet had nothing to do with them at all.

Throwing the door open, Roxas reached up and pulled the chain that was attached to a light bulb, which turned the light that hung directly above him on. He sifted through the almost antique board games, stopping momentarily to make comments such as: 'Wow! I didn't even know we had that!' or 'Ewww! This one's covered in over an inch of dust!' He finally, with the help of standing on Axel's back, reached the top shelf and found what he was looking for. He moved the box, but saw a tuft of fur atop the red cardboard. He reached a hand and touched it, scrunching up his face in confusion; he pulled it off while holding the game in the other hand.

"Holy shit! It's my hamster!" Roxas screamed and threw the dead body away from him, simultaneously losing whatever balance he had standing on the kneeling Axel and fell backwards, screaming now at the top of his lungs. "Catch the Scategories!"

Hands reached out and, before Roxas hit the wood floor of the upstairs hallway, caught the screaming blonde. Roxas opened his eyes, which he had shut while falling, and looked up at his savior. Blue eyes glared down at him and he was dropped. Roxas smiled and stood, running to his fleeing brother and threw his arms around him. "You do love me, big brother!"

Ven rolled his eyes at his younger sibling and peeled him away, glared at the boy, and retreated silently and mysteriously back into the darkness of his room at the end of the hallway.

Roxas stared, with a mixture of great respect and loathing after his brother before turning to Axel, who was patiently holding the scarlet box under one arm while his other hand was on his hip. He shifted the box into both hands and the two of them walked to Roxas's room, where the others were waiting.

An agony filled, non-interesting, totally irrelevant to the story hour later…

"Hayner!" Pence screamed, throwing a pad of list paper at the blonde, "Nyquil is not a beverage!"

"Yes it is, stupid!" Hayner shot back. "You drink it when you get sick!"

"That doesn't make it a beverage! A beverage is something people congest often and not against their will!"

"The high schoolers drink a lot of it behind the CVS Pharmacy!"

Roxas sighed and placed the miniature black pencil the game came with on the bridge if his ear, his hair holding it in place. They had been playing Scategories for over an hour and Xion _still _wasn't here! But, it was to be expected of Tifa to be late, after all, she always did insist on herself and her two daughters walking wherever they went, and living a few streets away from his house did not help much, either.

Roxas decided to stare at all the people in the room, since the Nyquil argument was most likely going to last a while. Pence was wearing a body builder costume while Hayner was a wrestler, and to top it all off, as if their 'gang' of middle schoolers wasn't weird enough, there was an oddly dressed Kairi who was 'supposedly' a Dallas Cowboy cheerleader. Either she really liked cheerleading, or she really felt like showing off her "under-developed A-cup chest" as Axel had slyly commented to Roxas upon her arrival. The scary thing was that her mother, Yuna, and her father, Tidus, were dressed similarly, except for the fact that her father was actually dressed as a football player and not a pompom-toting, miniskirt-wearing, wannabe-loud-mouthed, peppy cross dresser.

"Nectar isn't a beverage either, Axel!" Olette shouted, bringing Roxas back to reality.

"It is too, bimbo! I see butterflies drink it all the time!" was the red head's retort.

Olette's right lime green eye twitched. _"What did you just call me?!" _And, for the fourth time that day, Axel was tackled to the ground by the strongest girl in school, but, this time, nobody stopped to help him. He had to stop instigating her so much, the bruise surrounding his left eye was becoming a little too dark to ignore.

The door, at that moment, chose to creak open and reveal the grinning face of one of Roxas's best friends.

"About freaking time, Xion!" Everyone turned and stared at Sora, shocked that he had used such language and was actually _angry._ That was almost impossible for him, he was usually happy-go-lucky.

Xion recovered from the shock that everyone within earshot seemed to experience and she, although it faltered, smiled and opened the door to its widest before stepping in.

Roxas groaned.

Sora giggled.

Axel burst into laughter, sat up (simultaneously throwing Olette off his chest), and wiped away the tears forming at his eyes.

"Why?!" Roxas, who was lying on his stomach, buried his head in his arms in total embarrassment.

"This is _way _too funny! I knew it would happen!" Axel stood and victoriously jumped up and down repeatedly in place, ignoring the confused stare from Xion.

"If you don't mind my asking, why are you right?" Xion had long since sat down next to Riku, who had a hand over his mouth to hide his smile, and was staring (seemingly) disinterestedly and unimpressed at Axel.

"You're a fairy! I knew this would happen!"

Xion looked around the room, noticing that there were indeed three fairies (four including her), and stifled a giggle. "Roxas looks so cute!" She reached over Riku to pinch the blonde's cheeks, then stood and walked back to the door. "Let's leave before Cid gives out all the good candy!"

Everyone shared a look at the purple-clad raven standing before the open door, donning sparkly pixie wings and two messy pigtails adorned with sparkles and stars attached to flimsy plastic, and made a break for it. Xion's azure eyes widened momentarily and she dived away from line of fire as the all the middle schoolers trapped themselves in the doorway.

First came Sora, landing onto the wood floor with a whine. "Nyahhhhhh….!"

Next came Riku, blushing mad and clutching his wig to keep it in place as he fell onto Sora, "Crap!"

Soon came Olette, Hayner and Pence, all making the pile grow larger, "Mother fu-!", "Goddammit!", "Watch your languages!"

And last, both landing embarrassingly in a highly suggestive position, Roxas and Axel tumbled out.

Xion stared at the heap, an expression showing how disturbed she was etched across her mousy features. "Err… Need help?"

Axel dismissively waved her off, and, with a wide grin plastered onto his face, he stared at the flustered blonde above him. "We're in a pretty compromising position, ain't we?" He clicked his tongue, snapping Roxas out of his daze. "Took you long enough."

Roxas blushed at the eyes now staring at him and immediately rolled off the disappointed Axel. He crawled as far as he could away from the pile and out of the line of fire.

At that moment, the whining Sora squirmed and thrashed, successfully throwing off everyone. He sat up and burst into tears, upset that he was physically--and don't forget emotionally!--injured and needed his big brother for comfort. He jumped to his feet, which were laced up neatly in turquoise knee high Converse that had once belonged to Olette, and ran down the hallway that led to Ven's room. "T…Terra!"

Roxas sighed and followed his wailing cousin to the darkness that was the last room on the left of the hallway flooded with screeching metal music. He turned around another corner of the hallway and stopped dead in his tracks as he saw hid three chaperones clad in the most ridiculous costumes he had ever seen.

Roxas covered his mouth to stifle a laugh when he saw Sora latched to his older brother, both arms around his waist. His eyes moved from each teenager, each glaring at him from behind the tall collars of their costumes. He snickered and tightened the hand that was muffling the silent laugh he was now indulging in.

"What the hell are you laughing at, fairy?!" Aqua growled, placing her hands on her hips, or at least, the thick, blue, Snuggie-like fabric that muffled her feminine curves.

Roxas snorted and turned, quickly saying, "Mom wants us to go now," and finally burst into the long awaited laughter that was eagerly waiting at the back of his throat.

Ven, who was toting an oversized head that would probably traumatize any Pokèmon fan, and grumbled a few profanities before following his brother.

"Don't talk to strangers, sweetie!" Naminè threw her arms around her younger son, squeezing the boy in a death grip, as if this was the last she would see of him. Roxas wriggled through her grip and she let her arms fall slack at her sides as she stood upright once more. Cloud glared disapprovingly at him, his eyes boring holes in the top of his son's mess of spikes, showing his son he had done wrong and hurt his mother's feelings.

"Mom," Roxas stared at Naminè with a blank expression. "We're going _trick-or-treating._ _DOOR-TO-DOOR."_

"Err… Don't talk to anyone that looks suspicious!"

"Mom. _EVERYONE _looks suspicious! It's HALLOWEEN!"

Selphie smiled at Naminè's good intentions and softly patted the top of her son's head. "Pence, dear, be safe, don't run off with strangers," Selphie quickly shot a look at Hayner, who was glaring at her son, "and for the love of god, _DON'T PROVOKE HAYNER." _

Pence's father, Leon, nodded and placed a hand on his son's shoulder, "Don't forget, if you run into that Almasy boy, flee as fast as you can. His father, Mister Seifer Senior," Leon snickered at that, "gave me this scar," Leon pointed to the slash across the bridge of his nose. "Although, I did give him a bigger one right around the same place."

Hayner's topaz glare intensified at the mention of the name and he turned to his mother, who had much too many braids in her hair, and pouted, "Mommy, what if I run into Seifer?"

Rikku grinned and wrapped her arms around her son. "If it all comes to that, kick ass like I showed you! That boy will pay for breaking my son's arm, leg, and heart!"

"_Shut up, mom!"_

Reno ignored the wine from the boy across the living room and sternly scolded his son. "Yo, boy! Don't go around and instigate those older boys from that gang, Axel. This time, your dad won't be there with his trusty rifle to make sure you don't get your ass kicked."

Axel rolled his eyes at his foolish father's fruitless attempts to set rules and guidelines. "Dad, they're my friends, I heard that the majority of them are gay, and with me wearing this wonderful getup, I won't have to worry about anything other than rape."

Reno stared at his son in shock, but quickly snapped out of it. "Err… Y-you go a-ahead and have fun… yo."

"Let's go people! Daylight's a-wastin' and candy's diminishing!" And with that, all the children scrambled out the door, closely being followed by uninterested Terra, Aqua, and Ven.

Roxas, who had now accepted the plague of the lime green, skin-tight dress that demanded of him to wear his gaudy and least favorite, lime green Converse to match both the dress and pixie wings. He had chosen to skip ahead of the group with Xion, who was looking like a purple blob more than anything else with her hit-and-miss at a gothic fairy. Axel skipped behind them, not wanting to be seen to close to his blonde best friend after the incident that happened half an hour ago. Sora, Riku and Kairi all, excluding Riku, skipped in a row down the sidewalk that miraculously fit them all. Hayner, Pence, Olette swiftly walked behind them, and Ven, Terra, and Aqua brought up the rear with their menacing and slightly horrifying disasters of costumes.

The cool, freezing wind of Twilight Town had just picked up and the group was forced to walk as quickly as possible without running to conserve body heat, since the majority of the group of children was lacking sweaters.

Ven grinned, and, looking around at how many people were around, decided it was the time to put his brother through the ultimate embarrassment. Nudging both of his friends that were walking on both sides of him, he began singing a few bars, before all three of them broke into song.

"_I want to be, the very best…" _Ven began bobbing his Pikachu head in a rhythmic motion.

Roxas abruptly stopped, spun on his heels, and stared in absolute horror at his older brother. "Shut up, Ven."

"…_Like no one ever was!" _Aqua grinned behind her Squirtle mask and began skipping, waiting for Terra to sing the third line.

Roxas stared expectantly at Terra, knowing exactly what he would sing.

"_To catch them is my real test…" _Terra turned to the two other people, and all at once they sang,_"…To train them is my cause!!"_

Roxas screamed, covered his ears, and defiantly ran ahead of the group. "Shut up!!"

"I'm scared!" wailed Sora as the group of middle school kids plus three high schoolers trudged into a dark forest.

"Shut up, Sora!" screamed Ven, who was leading the group, Pikachu-ness and all.

Sora's eyes watered and he whimpered, swiftly scurrying to his older brother and wrapped his arms around him. "Tell Ven to stop being so mean!"

Terra sighed and pulled his helmet-like Pokèmon mask from under the arm that his youngest sibling was clinging to, switched it to his right, and shot a glare at his blonde best friend, saying, "Leave him alone. You need to keep in mind he's in sixth grade."

Ven grunted and turned his nose into the air stubbornly before continuing to walk. He had long ago taken off his mask, along with Aqua, for their costume apparently lacked any air holes.

They continued walking in silence, around trees, over roots, and through bushes. Soon the trees began spacing out, making large gaps between them and allowing the dark blue of the sky to peek through the orange leaves.

"There's the mansion!" Kairi cried out, running forward and through the trees to the wrought iron bars that caged in said building. The middle school children ran forward as well, excluding Sora who was still clinging to his brother.

The group abruptly stopped at the mouth of the trees, staring ahead in utter annoyance at the group of three people shaking the large, fist-sized lock to the gate.

Hayner glared.

Olette frowned.

Pence cringed.

"What the hell do you want, Lamers?" Seifer jr. growled as he faced the group of children the same ages as he.

"Screw you to hell!" Roxas cried, stepping forward and sticking up his middle finger, causing most of his friends to snigger.

Ven stepped behind him and slapped his hand. "Don't be rude. Can't you tell this little boy is jealous of our ability to enter this abandoned facility because we have Spidey Powers?"

Seifer's right eyebrow twitched, momentarily disappearing under the black beanie he wore before reappearing, and disappearing once more. _"What did you say, Strife?" _

Fuu, who was standing next to her blonde peer with disinterest dramatically held out her arm and mumbled, "Unjust benefit."

Seifer turned to the lavender haired girl and shook his head, "No. The other thing."

She raised an eyebrow and muttered, louder, "Righteous judgment?"

The blonde slapped his forehead and slowly pulled it down, slightly distorting his facial features momentarily, in annoyance. "Forget it."

"Yeah! Forget it, y'know?!" Cried Rai, who was standing behind Seifer, still fumbling with the lock.

Hayner swallowed thickly and moved to the back of the group, behind Olette, _"Frick." _

"Move aside, since we have permission to explore the haunted house!" Sora, who had magically mustered up enough courage to scream threw a hand over his mouth in surprise and tightened his grip on his brother's arm.

Seifer cocked his head to the side, squinting slightly in the darkness of the night, which's moon was hiding behind many gray clouds. _"A… Are you wearing a dress?" _

Axel and Roxas, who were standing in the front of the group flinched from the tone Seifer was using. Roxas threw his hands down towards the choppy hem of his dress and fruitlessly shielded himself while Axel snickered.

"Whateva," Axel nonchalantly shrugged his shoulders and placed a hand on his hip, "move away from the gate so we can hop it, Blondie."

Seifer's eye twitched at the mention of his much hated nickname.

"_Oh, my! There seems to be a gang fight!" _A flamboyant voice called behind them, "Mind if we join?"

Axel smiled gleefully, pumped his fist into the air, and spun on his heels to face a group of teenagers in black trench coats, "Marly!"

The pink haired teen sauntered to Axel and gave him a fist bump, ignoring the staring eyes that belonged to the Twilight Town Disciplinary Committee.

"Poor little brother! I'll save you!" Hayner spun in horror as his older brother, who was known as the weakest member in the Organization, threw his arms around him.

Hayner tried fruitlessly wriggling from Demyx's iron grip and flushed in embarrassment as he found every pair of eyes fall on him. "L-let's just go inside already."

As the lock fell to the grassy ground of the courtyard, Lexaeus grinned and stood, admiring his lock-picking work. Sora rushed forward, but collided with the wrist-thick, black metal and fell onto the ground with a whimper. The tall, russet-haired teen stared at him in slight shock and pulled the handle that had just magically appeared in the center. He pushed it forward and the gate swung open, revealing overgrown and unkempt grass with crumbling runes of what could have been a veranda.

Everyone ran into the courtyard, excluding Terra and Sora, Terra helping up his injured and sniffling younger brother and glaring after his so-called friends. "Yeah, don't help or anything! I can _definitely _handle this!" He sighed in disappointment when he received no response. "Whatever…"

Roxas slowly opened the creaky front door and screamed as pounds worth of cobwebs draped themselves across his mess of blonde spikes. His hands, as Axel had done earlier that day, blurred through his hair in an attempt to rid it of the dusty, vacant spider webs.

"Gross!" Roxas squealed, running forward and tripping, which sent him sprawling over a broken table in the center of the room. The breath immediately emptied from his lungs and he groaned in pain as he regained it, falling onto his back and on the floor which homed an inch-thick coating of dust. A brown, smoky cloud puffed below him and enveloped the coughing, wheezing and sneezing Roxas into itself, which caused those behind him to cover their noses and mouths.

The dust finally settled, and up popped a still hacking Roxas, his spiked, blonde hair now a dusty brown for it was thickly coated in the powdery dirt that was the source of his allergies. His friends stared at him before all simultaneously breaking out in mocking laughs. Roxas shook his head, imitating a drenched canine and rid himself of the dust in only a few minutes. He jumped to his feet and brushed his body off.

"_**Get out…" **_Everyone ceased laughing and fell silent. The tattered curtain that hung in front of the large, cracked, glass window directly opposite the front door billowed in the nonexistent wind-like chill that swept through them.

"No way!" Everyone turned and stared at Axel, who was shaking his wand at the booming voice.

"_**Get out, now…." **_The voice was louder and sounded as if it was coming closer.

"Like hell we won't! Took way too long to walk here and hop the freaking fence!" Riku shouted, earning a few nods of approval. Seifer stared at him as if the silverette was crazy.

There were footsteps above them, each growing closer and closer.

Axel latched himself onto the groaning Roxas and moaned in fear, digging his face into the younger boy's shoulder. Roxas tried his best to detach him but found that the action was indeed fruitless.

Tears welled up into Sora's eyes and he threw himself into the nearest person's arms. Riku stared at him in annoyance, but allowed this.

Aqua threw herself into Ven's open arms. Terra gave him a thumbs up.

Seifer convulsed but refused to show fear in front of everyone. Rai, on the other hand, bit his fingernails in anxiousness. Fuu stared disinterestedly at the both of them.

Kairi and Xion both embraced each other, both looking as if they were fighting, but were actually trying to hide behind the other.

Olette growled at the two boys that held there arms open before her, refusing to take a step near them.

All the Organization members, excluding the moody Larxene, huddled together in fear.

"_**GET THE HELL OUT! I DON'T ENJOY WATCHING CREEPS RUBBING ALL OVER EACHOTHER IN MY LIVING ROOM!" **_Everyone averted their gazes to the top of the right staircase and gaped. A man wearing an oversized cloak with red bandages covering his face was glaring menacingly at them.

"Oh my gosh! It's Ansem "The Wise" Weiss!" Sora cried out, unhooking one of the arms that were around Riku to point.

"Oh, it's only children!" The man sighed. "Why are you all here?" The man asked, slowly descending the stairs, which caused a tuft of dust to explode with each step he took. "…If you don't mind my asking."

Roxas's left eyebrow twitched, "The question is, why are _you _here? This house has been abandoned for thirty years!"

Ansem abruptly stopped and stared at Roxas as if he sprouted a second head. "I _live _here, you ignoramus!"

Roxas glared at the man, "I am not stupid! This place looks like it was hit by a hurricane!"

"Tornado, Roxas," Axel corrected, unlatching himself from his arm. "A hurricane carries water, while a tornado carries dirt and all that crap."Roxas rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Whatever."

The bandages above Ansem's right eye twitched, _"Pardon?" _

Roxas sighed. "Your. House. Looks. Like. Crap, Grandpa!" Roxas blinked as Ansem vanished into a swirling purple vortex. He turned around and saw that Sora was wide eyed.

"You've angered the ghost! Everyone run!"

_And so they escaped, ran home, and crashed the party that scarred their innocent minds forever. They would never forget what they saw, but I suppose that story shall be told in another one-shot._

* * *

A/n: Ermmm.... Probably the worst one-shot (not to mention my longest) still here on . I hate this. Really. I DO. Not only that, but I finished it after Halloween!!! D: This took over a month, and it was RUSHED. Imagine if I had all the time in the world! It would probably be over 1,000 words!!!!

Crack familes:  
_Parent(s):_ Cloud & Namine _Kids:_ Ven, Roxas  
_Parent(s):_ Reno _Kid:_ Axel  
_Parent(s):_ Leon & Selphie _Kid_ Pence  
_Parent(s):_ Zack & Aerith _Kids:_ Terra, Olette, Sora  
_Parents(s):_ Paine & Sephiroth _Uncles:_ Yazoo, Loz, Kadaj _Kid:_ Riku  
_Parent(s):_ Tifa _Kids:_ Aqua, Xion  
_Parent(s):_ Tidus & Yuna _Kid:_ Kairi  
_Parent(s):_ Rikku _Kids:_ Demyx, Hayner  
_Parent(s):_ Seifer & Rinoa _Kid:_ Seifer jr.  
_Parent(s):_ UNSPECIFIED _Kids:_ Zexion, Fuu

DON'T YOU LOVE THEM?!?!?!? Now, if you don't mind, I must go finish the 12th chapter to AAGSG. *salutes*


End file.
